1/31/2017 0 Comments IVF is inpleasant.So, I've been reading about how IVF is hard and crazy. Here's what I think/feel: IVF is unpleasant. It's hard, sure, emotionally, but it's not as hard as I thought. I'm sure it's very tough for a lot of people (and this being my first round of IVF makes it easier in some ways, probably). But for me it is hard because it's a string of unpleasant things for a very long time.
So the emotional toll is the most difficult thing throughout the process, from diagnosis to now. There are so many emotions (and sometimes lack of emotions) that come up and not always when you think they will. The diagnosis was the absolute toughest time, we were devastated. To have a doctor firmly tell you that you, as a couple, are incapable of having children on your own is really, really hard. The second hardest thing was the miscarriage. It was very early but that didn't make it easier. I sometimes think about it, about how I could have had a kid by now. A kid who would be 1 and a half. But I don't. The rest is a string of days, of appointments, of all-encompassing thoughts. There are Facebook birth announcements, which generally I'm happy about. There are baby showers, which I despise (always have). There are the questions, "So when are you two planning on having kids?" The "you're getting older" bit is implied. The injections are tough, but they're okay. Today was my first monitoring appointment. I've been injecting Gonal and Menopur for the past four nights. Today's appointment was a blood test and an ultrasound to see follicles and see how my ovaries are responding to the meds. Apparently I'm doing well, which is great, so I'll probably start injecting what's called an "antagonist" to make sure the eggs don't drop before my egg retrieval day. Egg retrieval is stimulated by a special injection I give myself the day before retrieval. On the day, I go in to my fertility centre and they anesthesize me (though I'll be awake) and they take the eggs out. The hope is a lot of eggs (I'm not sure how many I'll have). Then, they take J's sperm and inject it into my eggs. Then, we wait 3-5 days for our best embryo. We put that embryo in (that's called egg transfer) and hope that my uterus attaches. And then I'll be pregnant! I think there's about a 50/50 chance. Who knows what'll happen. The uncertainty is the third hardest thing. The not knowing. The lack of control in a situation that we need to control. As women! Our lives revolve around this thing that just can't be controlled.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorCall me M. The About page should lower those expectations of yours. Archives
November 2017
CategoriesAll Celebrities Clomid Femera Fertility Hormones Infertility IUI IVF Male Infertility Mental Health Mindfulness TWW |