1/9/2018 0 Comments holy shit it's twinsSo um *gulp* we had our 7 week ultrasound yesterday. The doctor doing the ultrasound said, "So there are TWO pregnancies here!" I was overcome by joy to hear that there was a baby with a strong heartbeat in there, let alone TWO babies! We heard both heartbeats and got our ultrasound pictures. My immediate response was to cry and give J a hug. There wasn't a lot of time to process as we were ushered into the nurse's room where we were told we'd need a follow up ultrasound next week at the hospital.
"You look pretty similar to everyone who just found out they're about to have twins," the nurse told us. "You beat the odds!" Sidenote: we did?? What were the odds? Perhaps it might have been wise, maybe, to, um, research these odds. I don't know. We were sitting in that exact same room with our doctor, the director of the fertility clinic. She asked us, point blank, "Are we putting two embryos in?" J and I looked at each other. "Should we?" She explained that the chances might be better if we put two embryos in because I was already 37. We decided to put two in - here was my reasoning: IVF is a son of a bitch to do. The needles, the effects of the hormones, the appointments. We'd already done one round with no success, and several rounds of IUIs. I was desperate to have a baby and, at 37, I saw my chances dwindle with the passing of each month. If the doctor thought that putting two embryos in would increase our chances, I was game. As our treatment progressed, we found out we only had 7 eggs. My first round had produced 16. I was pretty heartbroken when I found out I'd have less than half of what I got the first time around. Even with the donor sperm, by the end of our little embryos' five days in the lab, only four had progressed and by the day of our transfer, only two had survived. The embryologist told us blastocyst was "beautiful" and one was "okay". To be honest, I said, put them both in and assumed the second one wouldn't make it (although, at the time of transfer, high on drugs, I was like... um.... should we really be doing this???). I called my embryos Chloe and Joey and we hoped for the best. To be honest, after going through several cycles (one round of IVF, two IUIs to completion and one IUI that was cancelled because I was ovulating on the wrong side) and trying for so long, I wasn't expecting to be pregnant this time. I'd read so many heartbreaking stories from women who'd gone through round after round of IVF without success AND was so used to that terrible negative pee test followed by cramps and spotting and a negative blood test, I was conditioned to expect a negative result. I hardly believed it when I got a positive result! Even after I got a positive result, I was terrified I'd have a miscarriage, having experienced that horrible loss the only time I'd been pregnant. So, hey! We now are going to have two kids (we wanted two! and even when I found out I was pregnant, I thought, I don't think I'll do another round of IVF again - who knows if it'll work and I'll be 40 by then, etc), and I only have to be pregnant once. Although I hear being pregnant with twins is quite awful - my symptoms have been quite crazy, though I really don't have anything to compare this to. (I've been very nauseous, tired and super, super hungry- I'll do a post on my symptoms later.) That being said, I am freaking out. Like, seriously. I couldn't sleep last night. I just kept thinking "That's so many babies" (but, hey, J and I never ever do anything the easy way) I'm sure it'll all be fine and lost of people have already offered to help. I am printing up the contracts now, ha. But it'll all be okay. Just... holy shit.
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AuthorCall me M. The About page should lower those expectations of yours. Archives
November 2017
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