So, I guess part of this whole pregnancy thing is admitting that it's scary and sad and shitty. It's not something I hear a lot of people talking about and although I've seen message boards and Facebook groups that acknowledge it, it's kind of crazy that it's not a regular topic of discussion. People also don't seem like to hear about it. Part of my ignorance around how hard pregnancy is can be attributed to my own unwillingness to listen, for sure. And for that, I'm sorry. Because being pregnant - at least from what I've experienced, sucks balls! I've been living through a lot of unpleasantness for the past three months and to be honest, this week has been especially tough. Not just because my symptoms have gotten worse, but because I'm so FUCKING SICK of it! I know it's supposed to wear off soon, but I've heard stories from other people that they felt shitty the ENTIRE time they were pregnant! And it's worse with twins. So. (If you're wondering, I'm feeling super nauseous all day long, tired AF, emotional overall, sometimes dizzy and I have shortness of breath when I do anything physical, like walking up a lot of stairs. Also, I feel very fuzzy for a big chunk of the day.) This week, J and I went for an ultrasound at the clinic and because twins are smaller than singletons, they couldn't do all the measurements, so I have to go back next week for another round. I was upset because I got it in my head that the babies aren't growing enough, but I know that it's just because they're twins and it's normal. It's just... all very emotional. Also, I am not quite sure how far along I am. Am I 11 weeks or 12 weeks? I haven't seen my OB yet, and I've had different people tell me different things. They're going on how long the babies are but officially I will 12 weeks on Tuesday. This past Tuesday, they told me I'm 11.9 days pregnant, whatever THAT means! Who can say? Because we had the scan and we could see the heartbeats and the babies were wiggling around, I decided to start telling people. I would have preferred to wait longer, but I'm self conscious about how big my belly is and if people can tell I'm pregnant. My belly is small at the beginning of the day and blows up like a balloon by the time I get my coat on to go home. Apparently this is normal and is mostly bloating, but I have to be careful what I wear if I want to hide it. So I gave up and told everyone at work yesterday. Several people told me they already knew, so there you go. I have tried to be very open about the fact that I did IVF, because I think it's important to normalize it. So far, most people I've told have related with stories of their own or stories of close friends and family members who have gone through fertility treatment. That's my favourite part of telling people! It's heartening to be able to share that with people because I think awareness of infertility is really important. I've found Whitney Port's vlog to be helpful - she's very honest! Take a look: I love my baby, but I hate my pregnancy Kristen Bell's Momsplaining web series is also pretty funny and there's one episode about pregnancy: #PregnancyRealness Enjoy!
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AuthorCall me M. The About page should lower those expectations of yours. Archives
November 2017
CategoriesAll Celebrities Clomid Femera Fertility Hormones Infertility IUI IVF Male Infertility Mental Health Mindfulness TWW |